这次紧接着来分享第二把钥匙。

Key2 See the needs behind every action  了解每个行为背后的需求

First of all, let’s Learn to differentiate a need from a strategy. 

首先，学习区分需求和策略

Eg1：” wanting a iPad ” is not a need, it’s just the need for fun, but there are a lot of ways to have fun….

例如1：想要ipad不是一种需求， 需求是为了娱乐。

但是还有很多方式娱乐，不要一直和孩子纠缠在表面的争论，停止争论，了解需求。

比如带孩子去户外走走，或者一起做个智力游戏等等一样可以满足孩子娱乐的需求。

Eg2:  Forcing your child to be in bed is a strategy for meeting his need for rest and yours. 强行让孩子上床睡觉是为了满足他和你休息需求的策略。

Secondly, make a list of universal needs and post it in the house where everyone can see it, refer to it, and add to it.

其次，做一张需求表并贴在房子一处任何人可以看见的地方，并可以随时补充。

Tell yourself pleasurable feelings give the message that your needs are being fulfilled, on the other hands, painful feelings give the message that some needs are not being fulfilled.告诉你自己愉快的感觉传达出你的某种需求被满足，另一方面，伤痛的感觉传达了某些需求没被满足。

Not judge any action first, please hear them.

不要从行为上判断，请听听背后的需求。

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